Tech Fail
NOTES: Humanoid Robotics: A $25 Trillion Banana Stand
Tesla's $25 trillion humanoid robot dream is a Bluth family banana stand. Inside the high-tech/low-life decay of snapping tendons and VR puppeteers.
High-Tech Low-Life
Tech-Fail
NOTES: Helium (Node Audit): There’s Always Money in the Protocol Layer: The Great Helium Paperweight Scam
There's always money in the protocol layer, mate. How Nova Labs burned down the DePIN banana stand, leaving retail operators with $1000 paperweights.
Project Stargate
NOTES: SoftBank / Oracle: The Optimized Lie of Sight: Your Eyeballs Are Funding a Black Hole in Texas
They call it foveated rendering; I call it a corporate polygraph strapped to your skull. Your eyeballs are funding a 10-gigawatt black hole in Texas.
Tech Fail
NOTES: Helium: There's Always Money in the Helium Stand: The GPU Bond Ponzi Scheme
The US government is running a high-tech Ponzi scheme cooled by party-balloon gas. Discover why GPU Bonds are the ultimate Bluth Banana Stand of 2026.
Peloton Necropsy
NOTES: Peloton (Post-2021): Operating System for a Dead Body: The Peloton Necropsy
Peloton's Total Wellness is just an OS for a dead body. A cynical look at glitchy Emotion AI, bricked hostage hardware, and the $49.99 paywall ransom.
Plastic Wiretap
NOTES: The Tamagotchi: The 16-Bit Grift: How Bandai Turned Your Kid's Pet into a Plastic Wiretap
Bandai's Tamagotchi Paradise is a 16-bit grift. From 4-minute parasocial latency to auctioning your kid's empathy, uncover the truth of this wiretap.
Digital Mausoleum
NOTES: Second Life: The Ghost Town Casino
Second Life isn't a utopia; it's a digital mausoleum. Discover how psychographic inflation and compute debt turned users into janitors of a server farm.
Tech Slumlord
NOTES: Equinix: The Billion Dollar Thermostat
They sold us the cloud, but it's a windowless room in Jersey on fire. Why Equinix is the tech slumlord of the AI era, smelling of ozone and hubris.
Tech Fail
NOTES: Intellia: A Cure So Good It Might Bankrupt You
Intellia promises a one-time genetic cure, but their CRISPR tech is like throwing a spanner in a Swiss watch. Unpacking the Ostrich Algorithm and spin.
Data Egress Friction
NOTES: Akamai: Akamai's Ghost in the Machine is a Toll Bridge to Nowhere
Akamai's 72-hour outage wasn't a rogue AI—it was old plumbing choking on a 512-byte DNS packet. Welcome to the $900M toll bridge to nowhere.
Zombie Cells
NOTES: Unity Biotechnology: The Cellular Margin Call
Unity Biotech promised to cure aging but burned $700M on a zombie cell hustle. A cynical dive into the Telomere Cliff and rotting from the inside out.
Selvedge Scam
NOTES: The Selvedge Scam: Your Soul is Skint, But Your Avatar is Solid Gold
The Cassandra Files — forensic audio drama. Katie audits the books, Marcus kills the spin, Killian opens the file. About · Latest · Themes London’s spitting again. That cold, muslin-grey drizzle that hunts for loose threads in your coat and your resolve. They’re selling you a story about yourself, mate.